By Sarahbeth Spasojevich, LPC, MEd, MA, MBA, NCC
As both a therapist and a parent of three, I know how complicated the phrase self-care can feel—especially for caregivers. It often conjures images of soft lighting, scented candles, and hours of uninterrupted time—things that don’t always match real life. That kind of care can feel laughably out of reach when you’re juggling meds, appointments, work, and the emotional weight of keeping everything afloat. A bubble bath might be lovely, but it doesn’t always reach the kind of exhaustion that comes from being constantly needed, constantly on, and rarely off the hook.
Real self-care isn’t about adding more to your plate. It’s about tuning in—asking yourself what’s really going on inside right now, and what might actually help. That might mean asking for more support… or just needing no one to talk to you for a few hours. Both are valid.
You might feel guilty for not doing “enough,” or unsure what meaningful care even looks like anymore. When you’re in the thick of caregiving, it’s easy to lose the thread of your own needs. But tending to those needs—however small—can be a way to come home to yourself again.
Psychiatrist Pooja Lakshmin, author of Real Self-Care, suggests that genuine care starts with a simple check-in: What do I need to feel a little more like myself? Even a 5% shift in how resourced you feel can make a meaningful difference.
Here are a few places to begin:
Give yourself permission to need things. Space. Quiet. Help. A hug. A minute to think. These aren’t luxuries—they’re part of being human.
Say no gently, but firmly. You don’t need a perfect reason to step back from what you can’t sustain.
Notice what actually recharges you. It might not be what everyone else recommends. Follow what feels nourishing, even if it’s simple.
Let breaks count. A few minutes of music in the car, a moment to stretch before bed—small pauses matter.
Find the people who help you feel seen. Even a short check-in with someone who “gets it” can offer real relief. Authenticity calms the nervous system.
If you’re looking for ideas that go beyond surface-level suggestions, here are a few more resources to explore:
Redefining Self-Care: A reframe of what care can look like when you’re stretched thin.
50 Self-Care Ideas to Refuel and Reconnect: Little moments of reset to add to your day.
Self-Care for Kids: Offering children tools that help them navigate their own big feelings, too.
However messy or imperfect it feels, your care for yourself matters. You deserve space, support, and small moments that remind you you’re more than what you carry.
